Movie Review #600: "Grow House" (2017)

"Grow House" is written and directed by DJ Pooh, whose credits include movies like "3 Strikes" and "The Wash." It stars Lil Duval and DeRay Davis as long time friends Darius and Pat. The two need some money, and they also want some weed, so they concoct a plan to build a grow house in one of the abodes Darius's girlfriend is selling so they can make money supplying to medical marijuana dispensaries in the area. Luckily enough, thanks to a fire mixtape from years past, they are able to borrow some seed (TEHEHEHE SEED) money from Snoop Dogg, yes, that Snoop Dogg, to start their business. Like chickens with their heads cut off, running around aimlessly and carelessly, their lack of knowledge lands them not only a lot of trouble, but far more business partners than they expected they would need for such a venture, leaving them with an ever-dwindling cut of the money and the sticky icky. 

It is interesting to note that "Grow House" is only running for one week and has only one showtime every single day at 4:20 pm. We're not even going to lie, that's pretty amazing.

This is a pretty typical and expected low budget stoner comedy with a long roster of C-to-D-list actors at the helm. When it comes down to it, almost every line of dialogue has something to do with Pat and Darius's desires for weed and money as they try to figure out how to obtain said weed and money. As they start their venture, they find they need the help of a professional, and Conspiracy Chris, played by Martin Starr, is just the guy to do it, and at the right price. This is all interlaced with a heavy helping of profanity, cameos from rappers, weed paraphernalia, and "what do you mean you people?" jokes (which, if you've been paying attention, is a joke that has been heavily featured in the marketing for the upcoming "Baywatch" movie). There are also regular drop-ins from their new neighbors, in particular Madison, played by Zulay Henao, the neighborhood's resident hottie, and Mrs. Gilliam, played by Lin Shaye, who is huge drinker and is obsessed with BBCs (big bad chocolate wolves, aka Darius); eventually, her constant flirtations take a turn and it is expressly mentioned that Darius "took one for the team" by getting molested and "raped" by Mrs. Gilliam. Ugh.

Lil Duval and DeRay Davis are likable guys and deliver the occasional joke or slapstick gag that hits its mark. There are a few instances of good comedic timing, but most of the time, the humor here is generic as hell. Snoop Dogg literally plays himself and does as well as one might expect for someone showing up for their contractually mandated three scenes in a movie. The overall narrative, which feels weird to say in a movie strictly about growing weed, is rather contrived as thing happen out of pure convenience or necessity rather than something that feels natural or engaging. Finally, technically speaking, we have to admit, we've seen better editing on YouTube videos. The way the movie is put together with occasional visible visual seams cutting scenes together is supremely amateur.

In the end, if you can get over the low budget look, feel, acting, setting, and writing of "Grow House," there are a couple of real genuine laughs to be had. Overall, most the humor misses its intended mark and made us cringe rather than guffaw, and the entire thing feels a little less than pedestrian.